HOOPTROPolis: October 2009

Anybody catch AK47's hair last night? The man battled hard, but ultimately got dominated by Carmelo Anthony.

The real story is one that is not covered nearly enough. The many styles of Andrei Kirilenko.

We'll begin with his 2009-2010 doo (which can only be described as a tribute to Dexter, America's favorite crime fighting serial killer).

Now, in reverse order. The original look, dubbed the 'Drago'.

The Practice Comb Over.

Not to be confused with the Gametime Comb Over.

And Finally, the Euro Hawk.

A hit with Mehmet Okur who can't help but admire.

Bad Start For the No-Stats All-Star Team

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....And by the No-Stats All-Star Team I of course mean the Houston Rockets.

They were my early pick for the inaugural 'little team that could, surprisingly good squad' Hooptropoly (oh what, you didn't know about the inaugural and tentatively called Hooptropoly's? More on this later). I'm not writing them off after one game, but things don't look good.

You may already be asking, when did things look good? I guess, you're right. When you start the season without the two cornerstones of your franchise things start to look a bit dreary. Let's recap some more. Your new acquisitions are rookies David Andersen and Chase Budinger. You essentially exchanged your best defender and emotional leader (albeit aging and volatile) Ron Artest for the much younger, more team-oriented, but slightly unproven Trevor Ariza. I'm not hating on the move, just noting what each player brings to the table. You got yourself some Pops Mensah-Bonsu, the man whose name is so fun to say/write I'll do it twice, Pops Mensah Bonsu. GM Daryl Morey has been a Moneyball magician, but this year's class doesn't do much for me. Although a lot of people think Chase can play, I'll believe it when I see it on an NBA court against real NBA players.

Not to mention you are terribly undersized. Your starting center is 6'6'' Chuck Hayes, your starting point guard Aaron Brooks is a cool 6' flat. But damn it your team is scrappy as hell, and you have good players. You play solid defense, crash the boards, move the ball around and you take good shots.

Well today you held the Blazers under 100 points on 42% shooting, and caused 26 turnovers. Defense, check. You were out rebounded by 18, 51-33. I'll leave that one blank. 18 assists to 16 turnovers. Call it a push. You shot 37% from the field and 28% from the three-point line tonight. Blank. Bonus points for clawing back within 6 at the end. One game, but the little team that could has some glaring holes. Being undersized is going to hurt. Not having a go-to scorer is going to hurt.

Still, I got you 35-40 wins. Get to it.

Clippers Curse 1, Blake Griffin 0

For a while we were all excited about Blake Griffin making them playoff contender this year. Well, the season hasn't even started, and Blake has a stress fracture in his knee and will be out for six weeks.

I think that Boom Dizzle was always the key to how far the Clippers go, and with Chris Kaman and DeAndre Jordan, the front court still looks okay. But they are going to be pretty short on depth, even when Marcus Camby comes back. And Griffin is probably going to miss out on the Rookie of the Year award he was planning on winning.

On a more positive note, I just saw Kendrick Perkins smile during an interview.

Anthony Parker is Sasha Pavlovic 2.0

I went to the Cavaliers-Celtics preseason game last night in Columbus, and of the various things I noticed, the most overwhelming of the impressions I received was that of Anthony Parker's uncanny resemblance to the late, great Sasha Pavlovic (Sasha's still alive and well, but now inhabits the Siberian wasteland of the NBA, Minnesota). From the moment I sat in my nosebleed-level seat, I had to squint to discern the head-shaven, white figure on the court - could it be Sasha? It damn near looked like Sasha. A few spoiled drives to the hoop, a few 3's, some questionable dribbling - all signs pointed in this direction.

But no, this was Anthony Parker, the Cavaliers' recent acquisition. I'd like to take this opportunity to coin for him the new nickname, Sasha Pavlovic 2.0. Whether this new version (2.0) ends up being like a Windows XP (upgrade) or a Windows Vista (downgrade), only time will tell..

Sasha's listed at 6-7, 235 lbs; Parker at 6-6, 215 lbs. Both are hybrid guard-forwards with 6 years of experience in the league and a respectable 3-ball (Sasha at .363 career 3p%; Parker at .415 career 3p%). Parker, however, is 34 years old, while Sasha's a wee 25.

On a side note, the Celtics looked damn good with their new players (Sheed, Marquis Daniels, etc.), and I'm not sure yet what to think of the new Cavs. At least at this point, I'll have to go along with the prevailing opinion that the Celtics will rule the East in 09-10.

A Basketball Champions League

In what can only be described as some sort of divine intervention, I would like talk about the not so novel idea of a basketball World Championship tournament. The idea came to me during a deluge of basketball and soccer (or futbol) last night. Champions League was on TV, my friend bought FIFA 10 (or the greatest video game mankind has ever made), and preseason basketball (with participating Euro squads) was wrapping up.

I know what your thinking... FI---what? What the hell is the Champions League? Well friends, by now you have no doubt picked up that if Hooptrop is married to basketball, then futbol is Hooptrop's very hot mistress. The Champions League is the greatest European futbol competition. It takes the best teams from Europe's domestic leagues (English Premiership, Spain's La Liga, Italy's Serie A, etc.) and makes a tournament out of finding out which team reigns supreme. The format is pretty standard. Eight four-team groups play round robin style in the group stage. 16 advance to the knockout stage that consists of home and away matchups to determine the winner. Teams are widdled down until two remain, they play in a neutral flied and viola. European Champion. The whole thing generates tremendous buzz and importance given futbol's popularity and the fact that these teams never get to play to play each other in competitive arenas.

Now think of that, but with the world's best basketball teams. You round up the top four NBA teams (Lakers, Celtics, Cavaliers, Spurs) and the best Euro squads from its most competitive leagues (Barcelona, Real Madrid, Olympiacos, CSKA Moscow, etc.). Now I said this idea was not novel because Europe already does this, they have EuroLeague. But this is a world inclusive event.

Just think of a group consisting of the Lakers, Real Madrid, a decent South American team and a decent Asian team. Home and away round robin. Fans in the US probably wouldn't be too excited but fans around the world would be ecstatic for a chance to see an NBA team (and a good one at that). Isn't this what Stern wants, global domination for the NBA?

There are probably still a lot of issues and reasons why this hasn't been done already. I know the logistics would be crazy and finding time during the NBA season might be impossible. Still, NBA teams never get to play against European teams in a competitive settings, and I'd wager good money that says some of the best Euro squads can take apart the worst NBA teams. You probably think the NBA teams would all advance to the semifinals and play each other for the title. It would still be worth it, besides the Premiership has dominated the Champions League in recent times, and it hasn't taken away from the competition. Yet another concern is that it might draw attention away from the NBA's regular season. This is a possibility, but do you really want to see the Cavaliers play against the Kings or would you rather see them play in Italy against Lottomatica? Alright, that wasn't a great example. The point is, a competition like this would make for greater NBA exposure, and some interesting games. Make it happen David Stern.

Alright back to FIFA.

The Comeback Kids

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Last year didn't go as planned for many NBA stars and NBA almost-stars. With their dreams dashed last season many have their sights set on a major comeback. Some will win, some will lose, some will only sing the blues (I'm looking at you Allen Iverson).

Amar'e Stoudamire can see again. Good thing because he's going to have to catch a lot of passes from Steve Nash as they return to the always fun to watch, probably won't win you a championship run and gun style. They will also return to not having a true center, which is also fun to watch and it means Amar'e will shoulder the inside scoring and rebounding role for the Suns. This isn't really a huge comeback given he only injured his eye, but still he missed some time. I foresee a complete return to 20-10-2 form for Stoudamire this season.

Al Jefferson tore his ACL in the middle of a monster season (23.1 points, 11 rebounds, 1.7 blocks through 50 games) and never returned. He's finished rehab, dropped 30 pounds and is ready to anchor the Timberwolves on both ends of the floor. Already a beast in half court sets, Minnesota's stronger emphasis on running should benefit the slimmer Al Jefferson. The addition of better point guards and Kevin Love into the starting lineup should also benefit Big Al. He's shown no reason why he's going to slow down this season, playing all five preseason games, crashing the boards and going about his usual business in limited minutes.

Gilbert Arenas has been plagued by knee injuries for the last two seasons and is is looking to return to his All-Star form. More important than his latest declaration of health, is Gil's shift in attitude. This is one the main reasons why I think he will make a comeback and make the Wizards contenders (at least until they inevitably lose to the Cavaliers in the playoffs). Gilbert hired a proven personal trainer for his summer rehab, dropped the entertainer act, and has put the focus squarely on his game. Great signs if he is indeed fully recovered. He's had a solid preseason (14 points, 7 assists, on 54% shooting) so all systems are go for a great year.

The same cannot be said about Tracy McGrady. I don't even remember the last time T-Mac aptly nicknamed T-Pain played an entire season without some injury. He shut himself down last year because of a left knee problem. He had surgery and has is now on the long road back to health. His coaches seem to have stopped putting up with his shit. Rick Adelman was not pleased about his decision to give up on last season, and is looking for McGrady to push through. To be exact, Adelman said, "I told him, ‘We have to see you push through things, not like last year'. He has no pain. He has to push through." Well said, Rick, my thoughts exactly. No doubt, T-Mac can be a difference maker when he's out on the court, but I think he is long past his All-Star type 20+ points scoring averages. His mind just isn't right. I haven't the slightest idea how hard it must be to come back from some debilitating injury time after time, but I think at some point T-Mac just gave in and stopped pushing himself to be a superstar.

Allen Iverson experienced career lows across the statistical board last season. That was definitely a function of the failed experiment in Detroit. I think his move to Memphis should usher in a return to his Philadelphia days of 12-35 shooting for 25+ points. He may have lost a step, but productivity on a bad team should be a cure for that.

Michael Redd is back. I never knew he was out. He seems to put up great fantasy numbers, and I think he had a stint on Team USA's bench in Beijing. Seriously though, Redd can score, more specifically Redd can shoot. I see this trend continuing.

Manu Ginobli is supposed to be back from a stress fracture in his leg. The Spurs are pretty loaded this season and have geared up for one last push. If Ginobli can stay healthy and not be hobbled by small, nagging injuries he should have a good season. And by that I mean a return to his quasi All-Star status. Manu should probably think about shifting his scoring mentality a little this season to try and stay healthy for all 82 games. Instead of pin balling his way into the paint he should take a more pragmatic approach and consider taking more midrange jumpers and threes. Just a thought, Manu.

Who Will Bring the Crazy? (Part 3: Rest of the West)

Check out Parts 1 and 2 here.

Northwest Division

Utah Jazz: Andrei Kirilenko
He once threatened to walk away from a max contract to go back to Russia. While I wouldn't want to live in Utah either, I would if someone paid me $85 million. I think he is the only player to actually cry when he asked for a trade. Between him and Fesenko, Utah has a stronghold on crazy Soviet ballers.

Seattle SuperSonics:
The fact that the Thunder have no crazy players makes them significantly less interesting. It is a shame.

Portland Trailblazers: Ime Udoka
A quietly badass motherfucker. He will fight your whole team and laugh about it afterwords. If I were Mark Cuban I would put up a few million dollars and set up a Ron Artest vs Ime Udoka steel cage match and put it on pay per view.

Denver Nuggets: Chris Anderson
Now this team has a lot of crazy. JR Smith and Kenyon Martin make strong cases for this position, but the Birdman flies here.The hair, the tattoos, the dunks and blocks. He is the only NBA player in a fairly long time to get a drug suspension for something other than weed. And his performance in the 2005 Slam Dunk Contest was epic.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Sasha Pavlovic
Remember how he once staged a hold out, and the Cavs had to convince him that $13.7 million was enough money for him? One of the few people in the world who actually think that is is better for him to take a 3 than pass the ball to Lebron James.

Pacific Division

The Pacific division is the NBA craziest set of teams. A former pothead who just married Khloe Kardashian, the cheapest and possibly most racist NBA owner, a guy who still drives a moped despite a $66 million contract, a Disney fanatic and Brian Skinner's technicolor beard don't even make the list.

LA Clippers:Chris Kaman
A crazy religious guy who likes to take his boat to international waters so he can go shoot his guns. And he does this in his backyard. And he actively tries to look like the guy behind the Texas chainsaw massacre.

Golden State Warriors: Nellie
You think Steven Jackson would be the guy, considering he might be the craziest player in the league. But Nellie has been doing crazy for a lot longer. He drinks beer at post game press conferences, will pound scotch during interviews, and tried to make Patrick Ewing a point guard. He is responsible for some of the least conventional teams in NBA history. He seems more intent on being labeled crazy than actually winning an NBA title.

Sacramento Kings: The Maloofs
Fact: Suge Knight was George Maloof's lockermate on the UNLV football team.

Phoenix Suns: Amare Stoudamire
A tattoo on his neck suggests he is the black reincarnation of a man who wandered the Middle East 2000 years ago. Also has tried to nickname himself after a Chinese war philosopher. And if you give him shit about it he will dunk on you.

LA Lakers: Ron Artest
This guy is the whole reason for this list. He applied for a job at Circuit City to get the employee discount. Body slammed Micheal Jordan. Asked for time off to promote an R&B album. Recorded a rap album. Started the brawl. Got on the team bus in his underwear. Went to a Pacers practice in his bath robe.

Why is Chris Paul So Good?

I hope I don't sound like an idiot writing this out loud. I know Chris Paul is the best point guard in the NBA. In four years, he has averaged 19.4 points and 10 assists a game. Let's add to that a Rookie of the Year award, two All-Star selections, one first team All-NBA, one All-Defensive first team, and one gold medal. Pretty impressive, in fact I'd be willing to say its the best four year span of any point guard. He also routinely pulls this off.But does anyone else wonder how the hell CP3 does it all?

His team lists him at a cool 6'0'', but I have it on good authority (mostly my eyes) that this is a generous listing. I mean, how much muscle can you pack into a frame his size? Does he posses some esoteric traits known only to basketball experts?

Speed and quickness. That I can clearly see. Chris Paul gets anywhere on the court he wants, whenever he wants, and he can break off any defender in two shakes of a lamb's tail. His speed can break down defenses and causes rotation nightmares. So there's that. He can get open and he can hit a jumper from almost anywhere on the court (to the tune of 47% for his career). But shouldn't his height affect his shot and make it easier for a taller defender (as is usually the case with someone guarding Chris Paul) to block? Whenever I bring this up, they word crafty comes up often. CP3 is crafty and has an array of shots, runners, floaters, and bank shots.

His quickness probably serves him well on the defensive end. He's led the league in steals for the past two seasons. Surely his size makes him an easy target for post ups right? Maybe, but I've heard on more than one occasion from Byron Scott, that Paul loves to play physical basketball. Apparently he is very strong and I'm sure his low center of gravity prevents other point guards from walking into the block.

High basketball IQ and court vision. CP3 sees things on the court dribbling a basketball at full speed that us mere mortals could probably never comprehend. He is easily one the best ball handlers on the pick-and-roll and always makes the correct pass. Be it a bounce, shovel, or chest pass, Paul always delivers it on time and on target. Not to mention he has surpassed Andre Miller as the master of the alley-oop. CP3 has almost single handily made an All-Star out of David West and has led the league in assists (11.6, 11 per game in 07-8, and 08-09 respectively) for the last twp years.

Now, on to less measurable things. A strong work ethic. CP3 is apparently a workaholic (aside from the occasional bowling tournament of course). A competitive streak and natural leadership skills. This you can see, and if these skills were measurable CP3 would be among the league leaders. Paul is a fiery little dude. He will get in your face, yell at his own teammates, and take absolute control of the game in the closing minutes. He will take a hard foul and bounce back up ready for more. As a teammate that has to fire you up, and make you want to stand with him in the heat of battle.

So there you have it. Chris Paul is one the best players in the NBA because of his unique blend of physical and mental skills. He has the speed and strength to wreak havoc on both ends of the floor. He has the dynamic personality to shoulder the pressure of being the primary scorer and play maker with ease. I guess this is why Paul can ball.

Don Nelson and the Recent Trials & Tribulations of Cap'n Jack

Bay Area comrades, feel free to chime in on this as you're probably more knowledgeable on the topic and I've grown somewhat disconnected with all of the events in Warriors world since moving back to Ohio, but this is an idea I've been meaning to blog on after seeing a bunch of Nellie interviews over last year and into this year.

Basically, I'm starting to get tired of Nellie's completely defeatist attitude with respect to the Warriors. Anytime he's interviewed, the guy basically says, "We've got a bunch of young guys, and we're basically going to let them go out there and learn to play the game of basketball," which is little more than saying, "I'm going to continue sitting on the sidelines, not coaching or saying anything during timeouts, while my team basically goes out there and does whatever the hell they please." Has it really been that long since the 2007 playoffs run and the 2007-2008 winning season?

Nellie: "I think this year's time is exciting because of all our young players who are developing, and that's exciting for me to watch them get better... and learn how to win" "What I'd like to do is to max out whatever abilities we have... and let the chips fall as they may."

C.J. Watson on Nellie's timeouts: "One thing that shocked me was during a timeout Coach Nelson doesn't say nothing. He just sits there and rubs his head and will occasionally draw up a play every now and then."

Last year, I suppose it was OK for Nellie to take this feet-up-on-the-couch approach, since the team had, indeed, changed quite a bit since the the 2007-2008 season, and everyone knew it would take some time for them to figure out how to play. Call me impatient, but I draw the line at 1 season of doing nothing as a coach in order to let the kids go out there and play to learn the NBA game. Fine, you made your point, Rob Kurz scored 21 points in an NBA game... but this season, this Warriors team actually has the potential to make some waves, so I think we need to stop treating this as an ongoing experiment. Are you really going to put this team through 2 straight seasons of doing nothing with the type of talent this roster has?

Granted, Nellie did say in the above interview that they'd wait and see if this team can compete in order to make the playoffs or not (at least he said the word "playoffs"), and Nellie you're still the man - I can't stay mad at ya for too long, but still, given the approach to this team, I'm really not surprised that Stephen Jackson wants to be traded. The man just wants to be playing on a team with the stated goal of winning and making the playoffs, whereas this team's stated goal seems to be much like that of my lackluster 6th grade community league team: "You know what, we may not win many games, but at least we're having fun and learning the game." This team is too talented to be just learning the game.

Shaq: League Leader in Hilarity

He is one of the few people in the world who can make Bron look tiny

Who Will Bring the Crazy? (Eastern Conference Part 2 + Some West)

Central Division

Cleveland Cavaliers: Delonte "El Mariachi" West
I know we shouldn't make fun of people with issues. But if you are driving around with 3 guns including a shotgun in a guitar case, you get yourself on the craziest person on each team list. Especially if you are driving a three wheeled motorbike.

Chicago Bulls: Joakim Noah
There is this. And he has a bit of the KG crazyness going on.

Detroit Pistons: Kwame Brown
The Jordan shattering his confidence did a permanent number on him. Follow that up with the missed dunks and his coach calling him a pussy. And that is what made him so crazy that he decided to steal a guys birthday cake and throw it at him.

Indiana Pacers: Tyler Hansborough
Dude's name is Psycho T. Must be crazy. I know its a weak case. And to think this team caused the Malice in the Palace once. How the mighty have fallen.

Milwaukee Bucks: Brandon Jennings
There is a level of crazy sheer gumption in this one. Going to Rome instead of Arizona for college. I guess you could say that leaving 1.5 million on the table would be crazy. And I love the fact that he watched the draft at home, and went to MSG after he got drafted #10. That led to David Stern almost killing him with a death stare when he came to get his hat after the 14th pick was called.

Southwest Division

Dallas Mavs: Drew Gooden
At least he is getting better. First he had a silly beard on the back of his neck. Then he got one on his chin, where its supposed to be.

San Antonio Spurs:
They run a tight ship. No one is crazy on this team. Cept fot Popovich, he I'm not too sure about.

New Orleans: James Posey
Most of the time he seems like a savvy veteran. Plays D, hits 3's. That is all normal. But when he gets to Chicago he goes all batshit. He hipchecked Kirk Hinrich into the boards, a la Horry on Nash, back when he was on the Heat. Then he elbowed Ty Thomas in the face and broke his nose. THEN he fouled Luol Deng in mid-air, causing a broken wrist. Don't fuck with Posey in Chi-town.

Houston Rockets: T-Mac
He used to sleep 12 hours a day. That by itself is crazy. And he was hesitant to go to New Orleans for the All-Star game, because he thought it would be too dangerous. That is reasonable, if a tad cold-hearted. But if you follow that up with a trip to Darfur, you come of as a little nutty. And you think that the fact that a team he plays for finally made it out of the first round WITHOUT him doesn't drive him a bit batty, you might find yourself on this list. If you made the NBA.

Memphis Grizzlies: Zach Randolph
This. And it is not like that was the only time. Throw in the fact that he punched Ruben Peterson, got into a fight with Nate Robinson, and punched Lou Amundson. Even crazy Matt Barnes thinks Z-Bo is crazy. Finally if you search "Zach Randolph Crazy" on youtube, you get over 30 thousand hits. Z-Bo you are nuts.

Who Will Bring the Crazy? (Eastern Conference Edition)

So with the preseason in full swing, we will probably get into some previews. But first, we'll talk about the craziest player on each team. We start with the Atlantic and Southeast Divisions. Here we go:

Atlantic Division

New York Knicks: Darko Milicic
You think he is just a draft bust. Well check this out. Or this. Yeah, if Darko knew how to speak English a bit better and was any good, he would get the rep he deserves as a challenger to Steven Jackson and Ron Ron for craziest player in the NBA.

Boston Celtics: Kevin Garnett
This team has a lot of competition. Big Sheed, Rando, Ray Allen, and Kendrick "Angry" Perkins all show some legit craziness at times. But Rasheed doesn't bring his early decade crazy anymore, and the rest of the guys don't quite take it to the KG level.

Philadelphia 76ers: Samuel Dalembert
No one sticks out on this team. But between the fact that he got kicked of the Canadian national team, and it must be hard to keep your marbles straight after Dwight Howard elbows your noggin.

New Jersey Nets: Terrance Williams
First rookie on the list. This is from Wikipedia: "It was widely reported that Williams carried a Barbie backpack throughout his time at Louisville. But Williams later cleared up this allegation stating that he only wore the backpack during his junior year of High School. And it was a joke intended to mock a group of female peers who tried to copy the lead antagonists seen in the 2004 film Mean Girls. Williams & a group of his friends dubbed themselves the 'Mean Guys'."

Toronto Raptors: Reggie Evans
He once went for a reach around on Chris Kaman. That takes insanity and gumption.

Southeast Division

Miami Heat: Michael Beasley
I mean, who else was I gonna go with?

Washington Wizards: DeShawn Stevenson
One of the few people in the world who goes out of his way to antagonize Bron Bron. And while teammate Gilbert Arenas has had his share of quirky incidents, we have a rule at Hooptrop. You get a Abe Lincoln neck tattoo, and you are the craziest player on your team.

Orlando Magic: Matt Barnes
We love Barnsey here, but in the heat of the moment he tends to get a bit rowdy. J-Will also gets a shout out here.

Atlanta Hawks: Josh Smith
He flipped the bird to the people of Charlotte when the Hawks were getting blown out by the Bobcats. If you are getting blown out by the Bobcats, you shouldn't be giving the finger to anything but a mirror.

Charlotte Bobcats: Vlad Radmonovic
While the max contract he asked the Sonics for was pretty insane, we all know a picture is worth a thousand words:

The Art of the Basketball Nickname

Its no secret the right nickname can elevate your game to monstrous proportions. Just ask Gilbert Arenas aka Agent Zero, whose game reached All-Star levels soon after he received his. Ask the Chosen One, Lebron James who has catapulted himself to being the best player in the NBA, thanks in large part to his moniker. And even Shawn Marion, a relatively obscure player until he became known as The Matrix.

There are a few rules to receiving a nickname.

1. The fist rule is probably the most important and the most widely acknowledged. A nickname is earned, it is given to you by your peers (and in some cases members of the media). Ergo, you don't ever give yourself a nickname (sorry Kobe but the BNA [Ballers Nickname Association] does not officially recognize you as 'The Black Mamba).

2. When choosing a nickname, there are usually four things to consider: Initials, patterned style of play, interesting physical features, and of course factoids/quirks. Here are some examples of each.

Initials: Kevin Durant (KD), Kevin Garnett (KG), Chris Paul (CP3), Brandon Roy (BRoy), Andrei Kirilenko (AK47), Oscar Robertson (The Big O)

Style of Play: Dwight Howard (Superman), Robert Horry (Big Shot Rob), Leandro Barbosa (The Brazilian Blur), Karl Malone (The Mailman), Paul Pierce (The Truth)

Physical Features: Charles Barkley (The Round Mound of Rebound), Wilt Chamberlain (Wilt the Stilt), Damon Stoudamire (Mighty Mouse), Jason Williams (White Chocolate)

Factoids/Quirks: Tracy McGrady (T-Pain), Baron Davis (Boom Dizzle), Chris Andersen (The Birdman), Bryant Reeves (Big Country), Anfernee Hardaway (Penny)

3. You can't complain about your nickname, it is forever, you must embrace it.

And so I present to you the 209-2010 class of players earning nicknames and ready for a breakout season.

Shannon Brown (SB Dunks, initials+ penchant for throwing down sick dunks, also a reference to the popular Nike shoes).

Anthony Morrow (Chocolate Rain, for his unbelievable smooth three point shot, and a reference to the youtube sensation)

Paul Millsap (The Paperboy, for his Karl Malone-like play in Utah)

An Old Gem with Delonte West

Preseason? We Talkin' About Preseason?